*This is reported by Queerty.
A couple of social media postings over the weekend struck a chord with many people. They both addressed good places for gay guys to live in the US — especially if hotspots such as New York City are out of their budget.
On Threads, user @justintycarey asked, “Where are you all moving to gay/queer Americans? I live in Philadelphia after nearly 7 years in New York. It’s fine for now and it’s more affordable (I live alone) but I don’t think it’s my vibe at all. I used to live in Portland, ME which was progressive and beautiful. Walkable too! But I realized it wasn’t my thing culturally.
“Now I’m stuck! I don’t know what’s good. I want a quiet life but I also want access to New York and other metro areas.” He also wanted a good arts scene.
Fans of Philadelphia told him not to give up on the city – especially if, as indicated later, he arrived during the chilly winter months.
“I moved to Philly from New York and spent the first year or two planning my escape, but it grew on me,” said one. “It’s a place that takes some time to find your people and neighborhood. I’ve been here for 10 years now and can’t picture myself anywhere else.”
Others praised parts of New Jersey.
“Have you considered the suburbs? I’m in south jersey and while I miss the city ‘vibe’, my community feels much tighter and, as a whole, more progressive. I can get to NYC in an hour or Philly in 20 mins. It’s not for everyone but walkable and quiet with access to city.”
Another pointed to the Jersey coast.
“Asbury Park, NJ! Yes, it’s a shore town, but most people are residential there. Very queer-friendly with a quiet town vibe. Access to the train is right in Long branch — it’s under 1.5 hours to NYC by NJ transit. Art scene is pretty good too with lots of potential for growth.”
Other suggestions within commuting distance of New York City came flocking in.
“Northampton, Massachusetts, springs to mind, depending on how far from NYC you want. If you want closer to NYC, then Warwick, NY or New Paltz, or if closer, then Montclair, NJ. All are walkable, gay friendly, progressive, pretty, stuff to do, not huge cities.”
Others wanted to know why the poster wasn’t keen on Portland. He said he highly rated the place but was used to cities that are more ethnically diverse, even if the Maine location was slowly increasing in diversity.
Boston
Over on X, user @fruitsnacks42 was also pondering locations to live… in a more snappy fashion. He said he was “Too poor to be an NYC gay, too dumb to be a DC gay, too ugly to be an LA gay, too fat to be a SF gay, too lib to be a Miami gay … just damaged enough to be a Boston gay.”
The tweet received over 44k likes.
In the replies, commentators urged him to consider cities such as Atlanta, Seattle, Chicago or Austin. Bostonites also defended their city.
Others pointed to San Francisco’s thriving bear scene, suggesting the “too fat for SF” was out of line. A few also suggested it was wrong to assume all the gay men in DC are smart.
Best gay-friendly cities
Obviously, on social media, people are likely to praise their home cities… but where are the best places to live if you’re queer?
In 2023, real estate data company Clever composed a ranking of the 15 top LGBTQ-friendly cities. It looked at whether cities scored well on the Human Rights Campaigns equality tally, and such factors as the size of the queer population, the number of gay bars and the numer of local Pride events. The top 15 were as follows:
15. Milwaukee, Wisconsin
14. Baltimore, Maryland
13. Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
12. Richmond, Virginia
11. San Jose, California
10. New Orleans, Louisiana
9. Chicago, Illinois
8. Sacramento, California
7. San Diego, California
6. Los Angeles, California
5. Denver, Colorado
4. Portland, Oregon
3. Las Vegas, Nevada
2. Hartford, Connecticut
1. San Francisco, California
It should be noted that this ranking was from 2023 and some factors may have changed, particularly regarding anti-trans laws.
If you’re older and thinking about your later years, Life Care Retirement recently merged date on LGBTQ-friendly cities with retirement hotspots. It came up with the following top ten locations for seniors.
10. Dayton, Ohio
9. Tucson, Arizona
8. Tampa, Florida
7. King City, Oregon
6. Seattle, Washington
5. Minneapolis, Minnesota
4. West Palm Beach, Florida
3. Alexandria, Virginia
2. Austin, Texas
1. Fort Lauderdale, Florida
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